Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
operation harelip BJ is a go
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
