I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
