What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
