white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
