I need help removing her.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
