mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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