bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
