My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
