I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
