Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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