His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
