there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
