Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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