in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
