some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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