I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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