It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
