It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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