i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
