why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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