you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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