i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
