he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My ass is underappreciated
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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