So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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