I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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