brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
