Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
