My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
