And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
