I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
