its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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