forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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