what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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