The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There r osticjed everywhere
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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