that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
