fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
