The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
