I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
