We won't sleep together?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
