I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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