I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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