Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
