There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
