Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Randomize
