I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
