Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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