I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
