just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He? As in you personified your dick?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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