I want to walk on stilts...naked
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
