She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
