I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
