At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
