thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i black out too much to be "responsible"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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