Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
