What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
