I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My pussy is not your playground.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
